Wednesday, January 9, 2008♥
Hmmm...so long nvber blog ler..
haix..jus cant slp so come to blog...
for past few days been lockin up myself to tink alot...
I kind of avoid my shatec frenz etc..Jia qi mel and rina..
didnt tok to them for sum time ler...
ani way..tis past few days I lock myself in my room..
onli came out to bathe or brush teeth...
and I jus kept tinkin abt the nite on 31st...
I dunno izzit I cant or izzit I dun dare..
and I realise I jus dun dare..I duno y..
to mi HE is really a great and wonderful guy...
I really wanted to noe hw is him tis days..
but I jus cant brin myself to ask ani ting abt him...
to mi losin him is like losin everyting in my life ler..
but I dunno y..y I jus cant b like others forget and move on...
in my entire love road I had nv encounter prob like tis..
.for my past relationships..I can let go soo easily...
but tis time round for mi is hard..
I can sae tat tis time round
I m a totally wimp, coward and a big fucking idiot fool...
i really dun dare to let go of him..
I can sae I totally let go the relationship
but is the person I cant let go..I dunno y...
I tot after wat he sae wat he had done can
let mi totally let go of him in my heart...
but I realise that I cant..
his already like a scar in my heart...
tis time round is nt jus hurt tat had been made is more then tat...
first time in my life I placed a guy in the first place..
and first time in my life I love tis person till I wish to gif him all..
jus wish to b by his side when his unhappy..
.true tat I sae to him a m a toy...
wat cause mi to sae or even tink of it because of his words
because of the way he sae..
is like everyting wasnt a matter to him..
it really hurts mi...
for nw no matter who or even wat kind of guys
is infront of mi..I still wont go for it...
even he move on I will still stay..
I really dare nt move ani steps...
sum times I really hope he can read my blog and noe hw I feel...
to ppl time is antidote but to mi time is a poison tat I hav taken..
.every one tot tat I m happy I m strong.
.but the truth is I m a totally wimp and coward..
times and times I really feel like hurtin myself and
let the blood flow..but I jus cant..
cos I noe tat no one would even pity mi..
.jus felt stupid...millions of tears i shed...
but tis time round my tears cant even roll dwn
cos I scare of losin him...even though I already lost him..
.really hope tat monday start work..
I can numb myself wif work..haix..
jus hope tat my life ends as soon as possible..arhx...
CECILIA CHUA IS JUS A BIG FUCKING IDIOT FOOL...
she jus dosent wan to forget...
I jus wanna sae...
I will wait for him till my heart stop beatin...
I really truly love him..
and tat will nv change...
I LOVE YOU!! JTZQ
______________________________
To Him::
Sori I dun tink I can keep the promise
sori I didnt dare to keep
cos I noe tat I no longer can b happy
cos without euu in my life
happy tis word is meaningless
[8:38 AM]
